the Phoenix

Okay, so just when I thought this blog was dead.. it rises from the ashes.
Wow. a year later.
Okay. where to begin.
I'm back on the prairie again.. ohhh... back on the PRAIRIE again! Definitely not expected, must be why it hasn't sunk in yet.
I knew I was home when it was minus 41 my first day back -
My skin is cracked my fingers have freezerburn..
Working for the Corp. crazy. I always wondered if I would end up in a government job, I think this is as close as I'll get.
The most ironic thing about this, is the tiny feeling of swallowing some pride to return west.. it was east till I died.. or until a bigger western paycheck rolls my way - but you take away the rent, the food, the 5 dollar an hour parking meter money away.. and I'm back in northend halifax way of life - looking for loose change to pay for my java blend habit - hoping I have enough money after paying for a roof over my head to partake in some huevos rancheros coastal style.... homesick - shift gears.
There's some good to this - old friends, new friends, coffee shops open later than 8 pm.. mountains, chinooks.. and a whole other set of adventures waiting around the next jump in temperature ;)

Set In Stone

My cousin Denise has a lot of friends and family and I imagine the Hazlet Hall is packed with everyone who loved her - and wish I could be there..

Who couldn't love a girl like Denise though.
She had a smile as big as her personality.
Her laugh, was more like a contagious giggle - and even if nobody else was laughing, Denise would be - and you couldn't help yourself but laugh along with her.

Maybe that's why Denise was able to find so much in common with everyone. She was close to a lot of the older folks in town, able to sit down and chat about anything - and still, She had a way with kids - they would gravitate towards her, and she would give them the attention and play with them for hours..

She may have had a way with kids, but I've been told that when her brother, Kyle, started going to school - he would hold on to Denise's hand until he got to the classroom - and he always had to give her a hug -- well, Denise, had to sit Dallas down for a serious discussion after school one day - she said, "mom, tell Kyle he can't keep hugging me at school, it's embarrassing!"

I remember Denise as a kid.
She was always up to something.
We used to spend Sundays at grandma and grandpa's -- and she could always find us something to do... it usually consisted of us riding our bikes all over town or spending hours sledding down the hill by the old rink - but she never wanted to stop playing.

I remember Denise was always telling me about the stuff her grandpa Reg bought her from garage sales and auctions.
Well, I guess, Denise was only 3 or 4 years old - and grandpa reg bought her a saddle --
Denise stood up in the back of the truck bed - and looked down the road.. and when someone asked what she was doing, she just said, she was waiting for the horse to go along with the saddle.

I think I can safely say Denise's love for horses and country life was what really defined her.
When we were little, I would try to be the boss of her - make her design our very own city in the dirt - with cars and people - and she would always play with toy horses and tractors instead.

I know my cousin was an amazing woman. I know she had skills and knowledge in horsemanship and ranching that I couldn't imagine having - but I'm learning even more..

She loved to go to brandings.
She was in high demand for her riding and roping skills.
Denise would load up her dog and her horse and head out to any branding she was asked to go to - sometimes two in a day.


Denise's dedication to her animals was overwhelming.
I didn't know this, but Denise's horse, Pacey - ripped her leg wide open one time.
Denise called a bunch of people for advice on what to do... put him down or spend thousands of dollars to take the horse to a vet in Saskatoon.
The vet told her the horse would most likely end up lame anyway..
Denise didn't listen.
She took Pacey home - she flushed that wound out three times a day for three months - and by the end of the summer, she was riding him ..
Some may have said her stubborn streak made her do it - if that's what stubbornness gets us - then I hope I can be that stubborn in life.

I think it's only fitting that you would all be in Hazlet today.
She loved this town.
She had a running joke with family and friends that she would only move somewhere if she could take her horses with her.
She did leave a couple of times, but always returned home.
She told her friend, Karla, She wishes she could just get rich doing what she loved to do...

She was rich -
She was able to do what she loved -
And loved where she lived -
Not everyone can say that.

I know she was taken from us way too early - and she had a lot of riding left to do -
But - I hope we can all take Denise's wonderfully, optimistic, beautiful, humorous, love of the place we call home as a way to remember her.

I miss you Nisey - and we all love you.

Facebook Free?

So, on Friday, I set my facebook status to "facebook free this weekend". And thanks to other Facebook addicts, I've been busted twice this weekend for "checking in" -- It's not like I sit there and scroll through pictures, I mean I'm facebook free this weekend, but I need to check email don't I? That's not technically Facebook.. Nobody ever emails my normal address anymore, so I'm doing others a favour really.

So, the reason I'm going, or trying to go Facebook free is because it really is starting to take over my life.

I start work at 9 - but I'm there at 8:30am to check facebook.
Meeting starts at 9:15 and I have my profile up for all to see so I can monitor the inbox feature - and constantly update the "who's online" button.. gawd forbid, I know.

I get an assignment out of town, and the whole time I'm on the road I'm thinking, I wonder if anyone will miss me in facebook land?? It's the first thing I do when I get back - what you need a script in a half an hour? I just need to check my facebook inbox or if my "friend" (even though I haven't heard from them since 1989) has posted the pictures of their new condo on their photo album yet - they're status said they were working on it this morning ... yes, yes, I'm hurrying...

But those who are familiar with facebook, and the wonderful waste of time that it is - KNOWS that seeing (1) beside the word, INBOX - can make your day!! That is, until you open it up and see that it's a mass email from the group you felt obliged to join because it was your friend after all who started the tupperware party site 14 hours from where you live - and who knows maybe you WILL have time to RSVP and get there for appetizers and martinis!

So, for those people who sit and say, oh gawd, friggin' facebook - that thing is the devil - I would never sign up for that..

you know you're asking your friends in the lunchroom at work, if they can look up your old boyfriend/girlfriend from junior high to see what their relationship status is... don't deny it!

As for me, the facebook free weekend is going fine, just fine.. so what if I don't know if my buddy who I met once at a party is out of the shower yet, or making dinner - or "just is" -- I'm okay, REALLY.

Into The West

Yay holiday time - some may think of places to go on vacation like Jamaica, Bahamas, and being on the east coast, maybe even a couple of weeks bumming around Europe - But not me! I'm going to Saskachewan!
So, I board the plane - but no songs, this is Air Canada afterall... I'm just happy it's on time. 6 am - 3 am Sask time... going well so far.
Finally land in the city that rhymes with fun - mom, meet Heather - that went well, now let's get in the truck for a 2 hour trip to the farm..
My mission to show a Maritimer what the flatlands are all about - so off to the great Sandhills we go!
A dune in the middle of the prairies, a crazy carpet with my girlfriend, my best childhood friend and my sister, what more is there to explain there - nothing but fun and chaos..
It's 11 am - time for a Bohemian... what's that Heather, not drinking before noon? When in Rome dear :)
Now, on this "vacation" I had a family duty. Bridesmaid. Picturing the screeching soundtrack to psycho when she's in the shower? Me too... so I put the dress on - 30 minutes before the wedding started. I tried it on a month earlier, it fit - no worries. But, the support system showed! AHHHH.. thank god my aunt is a seamstress.. she attached me to the dress, literally. There was no getting out now. I'm ready to walk down the isle, remember Terri, it's not your day!
I danced the night away, while Heather got to know the locals - and bond with Pilsner beer drinkers..
So, sandhills, huttertite tour, Pilsener Beer and the Butterfly dance - mission completed!
It's off to Banff.. it's beautiful, you'll love it. Wait, where are we? This looks like ground zero. the whole main street is ripped up? Seriously? Great. Let's go for a beer and think about it.... Big rock and bison burger later, we're buzzed and signed up for a morning of whitewater rafting!
8 am - board the bus with the simpsons' driver and Bon Jovi on the local radio... we're half way there.
Getting bossed around by our guides that we're paying, we climb into the rafts ... except out of 9 people there's only for English speakers.. hmm.. the commands, row forward could be a problem!
We made it through and to celebrate - we jumped off a 30 foot cliff.. crazzy canucks I say!
After a "romantic" night and pretentious steakhouse later - Heather returns to the east... while I trudge on with my "holiday"...
6 hours and a lot of country music later.. ..
6 days of family friends, red meat, and suntanning... ahhhh.... long overdue.
And as much fun as I had, and people I got to see.. next time - I may opt out of the whirlwind tour of western canada and pick a resort where I sit in the same spot for 8 to 10 days.... hmm... I'm sure that'll happen, that could happen right?

Happy Campers

This is my third summer in the maritimes, and finally I had the chance to get out and experience the great outdoors.
After a final feeling of clean - I jumped into Gertie with the cutest carowner ever - and headed to the valley - land of apples and acadians.
time to set up the tent - I'll take care of the pegs, don't worry (this'll be easy) - I can't find any ground without rock!!! boo
Let's start a fire for the night.. what, no kindling?? hm.. thank goodness for fire starters (i AM the firestarter).. this'll work..
good fire- I'm tired.. and it takes just as long to put the fire out as it does to start it...
ahhhhhhhhh new tent smell - minus 3 and long johns.. ..
wake up - let's rough it, nothing but beans and eggs on an open fire. hmm.. damp morning - wet wood ..
grrrr.. show off neighbours with their sizzling bacon -
that's it - let's go to Wally World - half hour and 80 dollars later, we're at McDonalds - now we have our bacon.
drivin through wolfville - hmm.. found some kindlin!
wow -- this water is warm.. let's take pictures!
Can you believe that cyclist? that is some serious shape to tackle this hill!
was that a cricket or my car? let's go hiking.. this is nice and easy, even tropical - here's a flower :)
the rest of the trail won't be that steep.... or will it! a trail of sweat and 190 metres straight up~... great hike - feelin' good - feelin' thirsty!
got kindlin will roast! mmmm.. choco-marshmallows with hotdogs and beer..
Sunday - time to go home - or to hall's harbour - maybe some scallops, shrimp and clams...instead.
Can't forget to stop and say hi to Evangeline... feeling young..
and we come to the end of our valley tour --- next stop - chicken burgers and an early sleep.....
fun times in the maritimes..

Imagination

So, what is it with the human brain - we can function normally - most of us anyway, have a job, take care of ourselves and focus on tasks at hand - that is until you drive by a lotto 649 billboard. That's what happened to me this morning on my way back from physio (my home away from home). 37 million dollars! All of a sudden my mind wanders.....

what would I do with 37 million..
the usual, pay off debt - give money to my parents for the amount I've mooched off them for 28 years, give some to my sister so she won't bug me about it... pick an choose between extended fam..

Then, to keep good karma coming my way - give some to charity. Like Habitat, or Pet shelters - good stuff like that.. although is there such thing as a bad charity? I guess the national centre for bigotry awareness - or the academy of KKK - fundraising for brand new sheets..

I would quit my job - and go away - take my girlfriend and live in Hawaii or Australia - because if I'm a millionaire, I'm sure my girlfriend would easily give up the career she's trained for just to be with me - and live in a gorgeous beach house and learn to surf - get a part time job with Billabong, and enjoy the good life...

Then I woke up and realized I was in the drive-thru for Steve-o's coffee and thought "I hope a large coffee with soy and brown is less than a toonie".

I Just Don't Get It

You know, I cover a lot of depressing stuff in this job - and I can usually use the "media switch" - leave it aside, in the not real, not my world section of my brain - but when it's something that affects my friends, my community - it pisses me off.
I covered a murder last week. It was this guy who's body was found in one spot and the next day - his car was found 60 kms away - didn't think much of it, except that sucks, and who can I get to talk to me about him on camera - life of a vj right - then, two days later - a body was found in Dartmouth - stuffed under a boardwalk. Again, that sucks but who is this guy - police don't release the name. Just as I'm going home for the day - a co-worker calls - says there's a rumour going around the gay community - Trevor Brewster. I don't know him , but still not thinking too much about it, because it hasn't been confirmed by cops, can't report it - just going home. Next morning - wake up , hear on the radio - the body of trevor brewster. Now, usually it would be "okay, we have a name, we can find out who he is." but this time he's gay. I don't know him. I make some calls, check out facebook - EVERYBODY knew him. When I hear my friends upset on the phone, the switch rule goes out the window. My friends knew him! and even worse - the word around town - hate crime. What year is it people? I don't get it. Plus, the first murder - turns out he's gay too. Similar details of the murders. This is a city where I feel safe and comfortable as a gay woman - but after doing this story - I hear tales of increased violence against the GLBT community (gay, lesbian, bi, trans for my peeps who don't know the lingo) and it makes me sick to my stomach. It's 2007 - and senseless murders because of sexual orientation?? ... and some wonder why we have to "fly the rainbow flag and shout from rooftops" -- why can't you guys just relax and not exploit yourselves.. THIS IS WHY! nobody deserves pain like that - straight, gay, black, white, green whatever - but it seems SO clear to me that this was HATE related - because of who he was. Not a random killing - but BECAUSE he was gay. I feel it. I didn't know him - but that could've been someone I know, and if the news is leaning to where I think it's going to go - there could be a sicko out there who hates gays SO MUCH that he feels he needs to kill them. It scares me sure, but it angers me evern more. I believe most people are good - and in the maritimes, laid back and accepting - this could happen anywhere - that's what makes me sad.